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Dragoncaller Multidimentional
I know you are all an hallucination, but thanks for coming anyway.
dragoncaller

355 days ago I was counting the remaining days of my career as a police officer.  21 years dedicated to truth, justice and the American Way was coming to an end.  Jerry Garcia would have called it a long, strange trip; and it certainly was.

Now nearly a year has flashed by.  I wanted it to slow down, I want it to last.  I remember Marine Corps Boot Camp.  God!  Those days lasted for ever, like the summer of 1975.  They packed so much in a day!  Drill Instructors yelling at you, marching you, yelling some more and we were the 90 day wonders.  Our boot camp experience was trimmed by nearly four weeks so they could get everyone off of Paris Island by Thanksgiving.  

1975 was a world all on my front stoop.  Big Jim action figure was all the rage and I had one.  He could flex his big muscles and break an arm band.  My yard was huge and we had a sprinkler to run and play in and cool off; we were addicted to it!

1975 seems so far apart from 1985 when I went into the Marines, but somehow 1995 was yesterday compared to 2016.

And now a year has fled.

I want to drag my fingernails across the span of time, slowing it all down.

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2 Dragons or Call a Dragon
dragoncaller
I love travel.

I hate airlines.

I'm Florida for my Dad's birthday and to spend quality time with my brother. TSA searched my luggage which I am not surprised. I brought my pistol with me. I just wish they wouldn't be so bloody secretive about it. I mean, yes, they left a note. But here's the thing, the take my bags and I go to the gate and board the plan. What would have happened if I had packed my firearm incorrectly? Wait till I get to Florida to arrest me? I don't lock my bags because I know they will rip it open and break the zipper if they want. The revolver is locked up as per federal regs. Ammo is in a separate box and labeled.

They certainly looked at the boxes but did not open them as they are locked. So, they'll break into the suitcase but not the vault with the firearm is kept. I guess that's where to put valuables.

Glad I left the latex catsuit and flogger at home.

Or maybe I should pack something for them to find?

Rental car, hotel.

Decompress.

It isn't a vacation, I have 'work' to do. I have my Microphone and sound equipment so I'll be checking jobs and wot not.

That won't stop me trying to vacation, tho.

Current Mood: tired tired
Current Music: Could you be loved and be loved?

8 Dragons or Call a Dragon
dragoncaller
88 hours of low carb diet.

88 hours and thirty seconds.

88 hours and forty five seconds.

And so on until the sun explodes and the universe grinds to a halt.

When I was young, butter was bad for you. Like slow acting poison bad, clogging your arteries. Then it was eggs. Then it was salt. No butter, eggs or salt.

Blah.

88 hours and 4 minutes and 54 seconds.

Meat was now bad, bacon the worst.

Then it was fat. All fat. All fat was bad. Here, eat this pasta. Jim Fixx was a god back then and had the whole nation running in dainty nylon shorts until their knees turned to dust. You needed to carbo load to run marathons. To have energy. Everyone, eat carbs! No meat butter salt fat eggs but pasta, Prince Spaghetti day every day! Run and you'll be an imortal eating pasta and carbos!

Jim Fixx said he would never die from a heart attack.

He died.

Heart Failure.

88 hours 10 minuets.

Cheese was now death. The government was handing out huge blocks of cheese until the word came it was bad for you. Then milk, of course. Milk is bad. No other animal consumes the milk of another animal. Only humans do this and it is WRONG!



Florida, the state, made a law to call Skim milk, milk product. Really? It's milk for goodness sake!

88 hours 19 minutes 10 seconds (I had a call)

Where was I?

Milk is bad for you and of course Ice Cream which has not only milk and cream, and butter and fat and salt and bacon and eggs. Well, mine has bacon.

But now everything you've heard is wrong. All wrong. The Earth IS flat! The moon is a painted back drop. Stepping on a crack will cause your mother serious injury. There is, in fact, a monster hiding under your bed who is only thwarted by hiding under your sheets.

Carbs are bad and Eggs, butter, Fat, Meat, Cheese are all good!

I shit you not. That is what they're saying! But here is the real kick in the pants: Carbohydrates, rice, potatoes, Pasta, are BAD! Can you believe this? What bizarre world is this? Trump is president, Arnold Schwazennager is a liberal, Pizza is bad!

Pizza? Is this world worth living in?

88 hours, 34 mins and 19 seconds since I started my LOW CARB diet.

I've restricted myself, (NOT MY DOCTOR WHO SAYS I"M FINE) to less than 150 carbs a day. A shot of milk in my coffee is 1 carb, so milk is still bad.

If you've followed along on Face book, you've seen my creations. I'm following recipes from an actual book. For you born before Televisions were in wooden boxes called Sets and not monitors, a book is this recording device that uses flattened tree pulp and ink. No, really, there is such a thing. So much so that it's be the prevailing recording device for OVER A HUNDRED YEARS! Yes, before the history time. You can even put pictures in this book and like your phone slide from one picture to the next. Well this, BOOK, has instructions on how to cook. Do what it says and your stuff should look like the picture.

Uncharacteristically I did just that and my dinner looked just like the picture in the book.

And it tasted great!

Now, here is the kicker. There are liars out there. The same ones who said bacon was bad. Evil people with a phallic device stuffed up their fudge tunnels who have had themselves surgically neutered to insure they will never know pleasure or fun again and want nothing more than you to never have fun and know the concept of giggle, spring, and climax, will tell you things like, YOU'LL NOT MISS PASTA ONE BIT! and YOU WON'T BE HUNGRY!

Big, fat, fucking liars, (figuratively) shoot your fucking selves now. Please, now, go to the subway and mentally envision throwing yourself in front of the train and go home and feel bad for a while.

LIARS!

I'm following the goals, the instructions, the BOOK and fuck me (Figuratively) with a horned melon. I'm eating a tasty and properly prepared meal and in the middle of it I'm hungry. At the end I'm hungry and an hour later I'm hungry. I have LOW CARB snacks which make me hungry.

I know who you are! You're the dickies fuck who said Veggie Burgers taste like REAL burgers. I so want to draw a picture of stuffing you into a sausage maker and then coloring it in with crayons.

Why don't people tell the truth anymore? This is going to suck and you will be miserable for the rest of your life. You won't be immortal, and you forever be sad, crying each night knowing tomorrow you again have to live without pizza, but you more than likely will loose weight.

Some people did loose weight.

88 hours 50 minutes, 30 seconds.

I better be loosing some weight or some of you fuckers will be in my next novel and your character will die sliding down a 100 yard cheese grater.

Pray I succeed!

Current Mood: hungr
Current Music: Oh, Mr. Jonny Track how could you be so mean? I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine

8 Dragons or Call a Dragon
dragoncaller
Technology.

We hates it.

We loves it.

My precious. Gives it to us!

So, I'm going to Mudthaw to sell books this Saturday. I hope you all stop by to say, 'whadup'. So I go on Facebook and post on the Author's page I have that I'll have Shard's Thugs and Knight of Chaos for sale and I go to post pictures of the covers because we are a visual society with hardwired brains ever looking for stuff and lets face it the lenses in our eyeballs are really second to none on this planet for clarity, field of depth, color and most of all processing power and no other animal has such of the package deal as we do. Our brain has the biggest graphics card in the animal industry.

So I post the picture of Shard's Thugs. Then I go to post the picture of Knight of Chaos and I can't find it. Anywhere. I check the old computer sitting next to this new one, I check the back up harddrive and disks and peripherals. I check the internet and Comcast where I had a website for Knight of Chaos and there is nothing. I check Livejournal Scrapbook and it isn't there either.

Yes, it's a 14 year old book. In two years it can legally ask to borrow my car. But there has to be a USABLE image somewhere.

Although Amazon LOCKS out download of the cover in a side link to another link there was a clean, clear JPG.



It's been 14 years and a lot of tech has come and gone. MySpace, remember them? They were all the rage. Heck, LJ at one time was the king of blog.

The file is on a Jazz drive, or a Zip drive, technology gone the way of the VCR and LaserDisk. Heck, soon DVD will be a thing of the past. It will all be Blue Ray and then, like it or not, Cloud based down load. No longer will you have individual ownership and rest assured it will not be free.

This is a brilliant idea, really. No longer hauling around worm filled books, and shelves of dust collecting disks and tapes. It will be all in the palm of our hand. In my brain it is a phone but in reality it is a computer and monitor and relay device that will deliver my Cloud storage and beam it to any device. So I won't need such a thing. I will be able to go to ANY device and log in. Retina, biomechanics, thumb print and interact with it as my own. Devices will be everywhere. Replacing the old Juke Box on Cafe tables with a data pad so I can stream the news while I eat. I can comment live on the president's speeches while I'm driving. I won't be driving, the car will. I'll be in the command seat for the purpose of making me feel important but no more.

Soon, any surface can be a monitor. I can say out loud to take a phone call and video stream will pop up on the wall and I'll converse with someone in Marrakech, instant translation programs breaking down the barriers of language.

Brilliant.

'till there's a black out.

That moment we step out of the dome and into the world. My friends go to Jamaica and say how great it is and I think, 'What? Didn't you have to paint the house and clean chickenshit from everything? No, that's only when I go to Jamaica. But imagine if you will you've wondered out of the resort and suddenly there is nothing. You're lost. You call out loud for assistance and Google Maps does not respond.

Hackers have downloaded a virus, shutting down for several weeks the cloud. You're sitting at home. No web. No entertainment. You're fastidiously reading the nutrition facts on the back of Frosted Mini Wheats because you are that board.

Suddenly books are being sold on the black market. On the street corner there's one guy selling crack and next to him there's a guy selling Chaucer.

I betting hurry and put my VW back together. I think ahm gonna need it.

Current Mood: happy happy
Current Music: A momentary lack of reason

9 Dragons or Call a Dragon
dragoncaller
I went to put my photo album away but there was no room on the shelf. In fact all of my shelves are jammed packed, some double stacked, books lying sideways on top of books standing up.

So, put down the photo album and look at the shelf.

And history.

My history.

World of Warcraft maps, out dated since they blew up the place, useless.

Comic books in need of plastics. I found some and put them on, but I need more. They've been sitting of the shelf for 11 years waiting for my to put them away. So, off to the closet to pull out a comic storage box and ha! A big pile of more comics needing to be put away properly.

Two hours sorting one shelf and long and short of it I still have no space for the album.

I gave up comics because of cost and time and storage. God I loved the stories, the art, the drama! We mistaken thought it was for kids but no, stories with Hellblazer and Sandman and my all time fav, Usage Yojimbo!

They have value and as the market is going up I may think of letting them go. It would only be smart as their value slowly bleeds away. Even in the dry, dark closet encased in mylar with acid free cardboard they are still aging and finding a sucker to buy them are dwindling.

But I'm not ready yet. I'll give up the Wow books and Police Sergeant Exam study guide and some other crap that was there.

But I will have to tunnel through my life and scrape off the dead skin, then things I have not seen in, well, decades. Do I really need them? Is it time to move them along? Is it time to share the excitement and adventure with someone else?

Current Mood: good good
Current Music: Go, Jonny, go!

2 Dragons or Call a Dragon
dragoncaller
There is guilt in retirement, especially if all of your friends are still working and have ten to twenty years to go.


The guilt is completely self initiated. No one is really calling me out, but I find my self possessed to get up, do something all day and put in a solid 8 hours of something.

Today is the Ides of March. An event made famous by the failure by a gentleman to wear this:



Beware the Ides of March. Beware from wot? Someone sneaking up behind me to stab me a lot? Betrayal from my best friend? Or allergy season? Looks like a spot of bad weather on the Ides, best pack an umbrella. Narrow this down a bit for me, would you?

Well, it is also my mother's birthday. I gave her a call. She worked as a nurse in NYC for 48 years. King's County Trauma. She is retired now, thank God, and living in Florida.

She keeps a journal, as did her mother, to simply remind her where the day went.

The list is surprising.

So looking at my list, I've been busy.



This is my new office. Microphone, headphones, copy stand, Leopold the Lion, Mac with Garageband. The morning starts hunting for gigs and the afternoons making audio files. Most is just learning the equipment. Experimenting with the program.

Whatever happened to instructions?

Programs don't come with instructions anymore. You click on HELP and it directs you to a chat room with other people who haven't a clue trying to solve problems by wasting each other's time. Here's one that KILLS me. You post, I'm having a problem with the audio head file. I can't get the Clip icon to come up. The response is, I don't have that problem.

Really? Thank you for that information. I'm so happy for you and I am now further away from solving my problem because someone who actually knows something will see I have a answer and won't bother chime in. Seriously, you're not having a problem is of no help to me at all!

The other choice is You-Tube were some mouth breather hiding out in Mother's basement is going to go on for hours about irrelevant things and make you sit through crap waiting for that little nugget of information he promised in his title, all the while hoping, oh so much hope, he closes his mouth long enough to asphyxiate and die.

Why? Computer gods, why? What have we done to offend you? Look, we made this idol of a Golden Hard-drive in your honor! Speak to us!

We went from crappy and vague instructions, to detailed but wrong instructions, to 'for the complete idiot' but wrong instructions, to a mouth breather on You-Tube who lied when he said he knew what he was talking about.

Dear Mac;

Steve Jobs is dead. Stop reminding me of that with your insistent push to be micro-soft. We bought Macs at twice the price for a reason. They worked and they were simple. I don't want to spend my day sorting through computer files and programing shit, I want to just do things.

Garage band. You can do ANYTHING with it. It is unbelievably powerful, versatile and dynamic. Movies, Music, voice, you name it, Garage band is the schnizzle.

And complicated as all get out.

Here's an idea. Make a button that says, Audio Book. Click that and the whole system streamlines to just that. Narration. No reverb, no echo, no crazy voice effects. If I want that I can click on more things. Start simple and we can build up later. A real instruction book. Something that says what an Audiohead is and the difference between track and region, and what is mic gain verses volume, verses 48 Phantom power, tube blend and clip.

So what am I doing?

Learning how to computer.

Current Mood: busy busy
Current Music: Please forgive me for my distance

Call a Dragon
dragoncaller
I am a little saddened that we still need to have "women's rights".

It should be "human rights".

Women are human, right?

We look to our government to protect those women's rights because they are need of protecting, but in truth we must look within ourselves.

It isn't hard, really. Look at the pay voucher and ask yourself, why am I paying her less than I pay him?

See how easy this is? Let's try another.

Why do I blame her if she gets pregnant? Do I blame flowers for blooming? Do I blame the spring? How hard is it to give her a few months off to have a baby? If you're so strapped that you can't let her have time off, then the blame is yours for being a bad business man. She didn't get pregnant to spite you, she got pregnant because that's how babies are born. There isn't another way. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, that's how it is. You may not rearrange the seasons or pick and choose the ones you like. You need money for oil in the winter so you have some saved for that. You should also have money saved up for if and when she has a baby just as you have to be ready for when a man breaks his leg and can't work. He's out for three months easy. Now what do you do?

And quit grabbing her ass at work. If you can't control yourself then you are the problem. Here's an idea; go to the doctor and say, "Doc, I have too much testosterone." So he gives you medicine for ninety days. Chemical Castration. For three months you take the medicine. When ninety days are over you are back to normal. If within those ninety days you have no want to grab her ass and when you are back to normal you want to grab her ass again then you know what needs to be done.

At Sci-Fi conventions there are signs that say, Cosplay doesn't mean consent. Why is that even a thing? Girls who normally don't talk to you because you're a creep and a loser will still not talk to you if she's dressed like Wonder Woman.

Protecting women; from what? I know there is one State that has grizzlies in the schools, but other than that one place what? So what do they need protection from? Hmmm. Lava? Meteors? Trains? Or maybe not what. Maybe who. So who are we protecting them from? Well, on this planet there are women and, what?

I've been rather disappointed in the 21st century for it's noticeable lack of flying cars. I really should reconsider my view. It isn't our lack of technology that is distressing, but our lack of evolution.

Current Mood: pensive pensive
Current Music: All around this great big world, from Moscow to Berlin

5 Dragons or Call a Dragon
dragoncaller

Wonderful time! Thank you, Jhajhi

1 Dragons or Call a Dragon
dragoncaller
I got up with the great intention of doing many great things. First, I selected my electric carrier. This is a legal scam in the State of Connecticut where you have to go to a website and choose an electric service or be charged an even more outlandish rate for electricity. You have to do this every four months. God forbid you forget or you're not internet savvy. Seriously it is designed to rip you the frell off.

This takes about forty five minutes, assuming you have all the stuff you need, as you read through all the different offers. One said, for this deal you have to have a telephone appointment about solar panels. Um, yeah. That doesn't sound like a total scam at all.

Anyway, pumped from this success, I went to work on a new Shard's Thugs booklet.

Yeah, that only hurt a whole bunch.

Yesterday I was feeling a little technologically neanderthal as I went shopping for that video camera. I used to be a nerd god! Computers were my playthings!

Now I stare at them in wonder like a bunch of chimps looking up at the monolith.



Did you know there is a thing where you take a picture of your penis and send it to some random person. Yeah! A real thing called, take a picture of your penis and send it to some random person. Who would do such a thing? And yet, it is a thing.

Well, today I wanted to make a booklet of the first chapter of Shard's Thugs.
Shards Thugs.jpg

Should be easy, right?

We'll a couple months ago I brought it to Staples for convenience sake and it took them three hours and they failed. So I tried it and 4 hours later failed. So I gave up. I then bopped about on-line and found a program and went on and on about how good it was at making pamphlets. Intuitively! Intuitive intuitivation.

16 American dollars later and it was mine!

People should stop using the word, intuitive. It does not mean what they think.

4 hours of that and I wrote a strongly worded e-mail to the developers calling into question their life choices to be something other than a ditch digger. IT was a HORRIBLE program. Actually, it would have to improve significantly to be horrible.

I wasn't ready to give up.

I went back to Word. An unfathomable program at best, but I harped at it, thinking I was going to build it all by scratch.

And I was backed by the greatest library since Alexandria. The INTERNET. That's this thing made by Al Gore where everyone's useless opinion is as important and everybody else's.

Nothing.

Can't be done.

Seriously.

It is 17 years into the new century and I can't do this using the most advanced tools known to man.

Until...

And started randomly mashing buttons, like early man fondling the Monolith.

and BANG! It worked.

I poop you not.

Then I had to spend and hour to recreate my discovery because I had no idea how it happened.

But I have my booklet and I'll see you all at Birka because I will have my, see invisible glasses on.

On an important side note, I needed a graphic for the apes, so I downloaded it from You tube, cut it down from 12 minutes of 30 seconds, posted that, wrote the HTML code by hand and put it on LJ. I am a NERD GOD!

Current Mood: pissed off pissed off
Current Music: I can take a noun and bend it!

Call a Dragon
dragoncaller
The grey sky shivered in the tiny pool formed on the dark, grey walkway, teased by the spitting rain. Bright green moss oozes slowly, slowly, from the cracks of the stone, drinking up the soft falling water.

It is new rain on the new year. Everyone is delighted that 2016 has ended and now 2017 has a fresh start, new year, new life, new hope.

Except, of course, for the Jews and Chinese who look at this day as if it were a bank holiday. Might as well take the day off.

It takes one year from the Earth to roll around the sun and we should be roughly in the same place astronomically speaking as we were last year, and the year before and the century or two before that.

It is this point in the universal calendar where we round-eye goyim reflect on what we did while spinning around the sun.

I was promoted to Lieutenant and retired after 21 years of police service to my community. I received accolades from the Governor for my work and dedication to stop domestic violence. I published Shard's Thugs. I also began a new path, one of uncertainty, but a path non-the-less, to follow my life long passion of voice acting.

That's enough for one year, isn't it?

For years I refused to make resolutions for the New Year, but this year will be different.

1. Stay away from Facebook. Once a day. That's all I need.
2. Minimize playing computer games and other mindless things.
3. Read more.
4. Write more.
5. Draw more.
6. Dedicate time to work on the Bug. I will have in running again in 2017.
7. Pay particular attention to number 6.
8. Pay particular attention to number 4. Live journal posts are writing. Anything writing is writing but LJ is comprised of whole sentences and thoughts. Restricted sentences are restricted thoughts. Restricted thoughts are choking.

Today I spent time moving logs around until the rain became insistent. I then stood under the eave watching it fall invisibly, its only passing was marked by the quiver of the tiny puddles in the stone walk way.

21 years of writing police reports has killed by ability to talk like a person, think in whole sentences. It is time to get all that back and then some.

So there is my challenge for 2017.

2016 I stopped working.
2017 I started working.

And it will be glorious because it will be MINE.

Current Mood: happy happy
Current Music: So I stole one kiss, it was a near miss. She looked at me like I was Jack the Ripper

2 Dragons or Call a Dragon