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Dragoncaller Multidimentional
I know you are all an hallucination, but thanks for coming anyway.
Hugh Mannity's review of Shard's Thugs.

Shards Thugs.jpg

Current Mood: happy happy
Current Music: She's got Bettie Davis eyes.

Call a Dragon
Join the laugh out loud adventures of Captain Wiggletooth Shard as his rag tag band of goblin thugs battle against the humans, dwarves and elves. Saddled with the useless Momoo, the enigmatic Major Bark Bite and the lusty, busty Princess Hiroki and her castration machine, Shard must overcome dark elf secrets, assassins and a lurking dragon!

Available on kindle for .99 cents. That's right, .99 cents and healthier than anything on the Wendy's dollar menu. So, go now to Amazon and get your self the book of the summer! Shard's Thugs!

Shard's Thugs

Current Mood: Dizzy
Current Music: Lost boys like me are free.

Call a Dragon
Holocaust deniers. People who deny the Holocaust. People who enjoy taking facts, irrefutable, and despite the insensitivity to others, blather on that the Holocaust was made up.

In 1988 I visited a Death Camp in Croatia, Jasenovac. I saw the place, heard the stories. My companion was a teenager during the war and had been tortured and permanently disabled by the Luftwaffe Intelligence. That wasn't a story or fable. That happened.

In 2009, oh, so long ago, a man was freed from jail by Governor Mike Huckabee. The governor commuted a 108 year sentence and let that man go free. Seriously, if you've been sentenced to 108 years in jail, there's bound be be something wickedly fucked up with you. It wasn't for overdue library books. He was recommended to the Governor and the Governor signed it.

He went free.

Nine years later, that man, grateful for his freedom, walked into a coffee shop in Washington State. There, sitting at a booth were four officers. They had their lap tops open and they were doing work, sipping coffee, and enjoying the community. It was part of the community policing program to get the police out into the public where they can meet and interact with the people they serve in a warm, friendly, and affable way.

That man walked up to them and shot them all dead.

There is no war on cops, so I'm told. Or at least, no new war. That police are safer than ever.

Here's some facts. This guy, freed from an Arkansas prison didn't get that gun from a box of Cracker Jacks. It had been given to him. They target was soft, not L.A., not NYC, Lakewood Washington, where they could move in an out undetected. They snuck him in, sent to the coffee shop, and then wisked him away to a series of safe houses with the hope to shaking the law now hounding him. His handlers, hoping to use his skills again, moved him funtil they were boxed in California.

It was an assassination.

What the media doesn't mention is the network that moved the assassin around. That gave him the gun.

But cops are safer, right?

As of May 26, 2016, 38 police officers have been killed in the line of duty. That means a cop dies almost every four days. Car related deaths are down, but cops shot to death are up 19%.

The group that moved the murderer around was a branch of Separatists who believe themselves beyond the jurisdiction of the U.S. Government. They live in your neighborhood, enjoy the privileges of citizenship, but many pay no taxes or respect the law. They look at cops as the soldiers in their carefully crafted war on everyone.

They are organized and will kill you in a heart beat.

Other groups are out there, different causes, but the plan is the same.

Kill cops.

Pennsylvania, a police officer was shot in the parking lot of the Police Station. Same deal with that guy. Four cops in NYC are attacked with a man with a hatchet. He was part of ISIL, so he claimed.

Even if they were not part of a shadowy underground, they were still encouraged and brought out by anti-cop rhetoric.

Our president is too busy in Japan, laying forward his legacy as a uniter to attend the funeral of a dead cop. He once said, and I quote, "I don't know all the facts of this case, but I know the cops acted stupidly." Yes, that's a very uniting statement.

But let's be fair. Cops are assholes, right?

Here's a thought. You want a professional? PAY COPS A PROFESSIONAL WAGE! You want someone skilled? TRAIN THEM! All these people marching, yelling at cops, were you all at the town meeting where your police budget for training was slashed? Where you cut out their benefits? Seriously, who wants to be a cop? How long before the thrill of wearing the badge and driving the car wears off?

You want someone who has the skill to offer fries with that, then don't expect anything but a mouth breathing thug.

Right now what you do have are noble, hard working, self sacrificing men and women willing to stand up to the wolves who want nothing more than to RIP OUT YOUR THROAT.

How long you have them for? That is for you to decide.

Current Mood: angry angry
Current Music: Son of a bitch! Gemmie a drink!

2 Dragons or Call a Dragon
The end of things. There is a perfectly good biological reason for the leaves of the trees to turn color. The trees are unthinking of the squirrels, yet they take the mission clearly; store up nuts and food for winter is soon coming. We see it too, that message that the fun is over, yet as we prepare, take the AC out of the windows, pull covers over the BBQ, pull the boats in, we still take a moment from our labors and look up.

At the color.

Red is so opposed to green and seeing the green trees blush with so many colors we can only marvel.

We wonder about the existence of God, yet we don't wonder about why we waste time taking in the splendor, the beauty. The fact is we can conceive of such things is only a gift. To marvel at art where there is no biological explanation for it to be is the lasting gift from heaven. Darwin would've beaten it out of us years ago, and yet we still appreciate the dying burst of color from the trees.

Yes, it's that time again when I strip off all of my clothes and walk outside naked. I wore a felt hat today because it was a bit chilly. The trees have gotten a little sparse on the north corner. I'll make plans to put in some evergreens in the spring. There are a LOT of acorns out there. More than I remember in previous years.

I got a phone call today. I had to make a life changing decision. It isn't absolute yet, but we're starting a journey and more than likely a new beginning. I now staring at the computer, watching the blinking cursor wondering who to say it without too much vagueness.

I'm retiring soon.

When is to be decided, but soon is the answer. Ahm not up for this anymore. The steely sharp knives in the back have finally scored a little too deep. The betrayals, like a zombie horde, have built up too much, too many. Bad guys I can handle, it's just some of the good guys are not so good sometimes.

Tonight we'll have a fire in the fireplace and we'll hunker down, preparing for the winter ahead.

But here's the thing about winter...

It is followed by Spring.

Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: I wanna know what love is

7 Dragons or Call a Dragon
The thing about things is we don't think about things that are important, instead we think about those things we think are important, ignoring the important things we don't think about.

I said this years ago whole hanging out with a bunch of CIA agents.

I was on a roof top.

In Syria.


Drinking beer with the CIA.

I shit you not.

While one country over there was a shooting war. Two countries over there was another shooting war. Three countries over there was a soon to become a shooting war.

And I was on a roof top in Syria on an endlessly sunny day having a beer with spies and impressing them with my brilliance.

I was right then as I am right now.

It's plankton.

Not this Plankton:

This plankton:

A tiny little whatzit living in the ocean who without you would be dead. That's right, you need this guy to live. Maintaining his habitat is a priority, but instead we concern ourselves over other things, big things, and forget the main thing, the thing.

The important thing.

It wasn't the fact that I was hanging out with a bunch of government spies, or drinking beer, or anything, it was that I was hanging out with a bunch of no bodies who without we'd all be fucked.

They didn't do any James Bond work. They didn't do anything important save things that was critically important. They ran phone lines. The ran wire and hooked up security and monitors and alarms for the hotel so the diplomats, specifically the Secretary of State James Baker the Third who was a somebody, could go around the world and try to make peace with words and a U.S. Government check book.

He didn't land until we made it safe. They sniffed for bugs, looked for bombs, and kept other spies at a distance with a steely glance. Without them, there would be talks, no negotiations, no peace.

And without me, there would be no them. That's right, I saved the mutha fukin' world. Yer welcome.

And we're up on the roof lamenting how we're not in the 'Action'! We're not doing real work. Yet without us, myself included, there would be no diplomats and we would resolve things the ol' fashioned way--wiff our fisks!

We do a lot of talking with our fists. P'raps because we don't have enough guys running secure phone lines.

A man with a briefcase can steal more than a man with a gun. Which means a man with a briefcase can do everything better than a man with a gun. A gun has six bullets. That's it. Assuming the man with the briefcase hasn't created a law to take that gun away.

The important thing is this thing: we need things. Everyone wants to look to the future and forget the importance of the past but the thing is, the past is important. It's who we are. We all sit around the telly, watching fake or contrived stories of who someone else wants us to be, forgetting who we are. If there is something we need to change, we should just do that and not worry over a fake person doing it for us.

It was confirmed today that this has been destroyed by ISIL.


I took this picture of the ancient site of Pumyra in 1990. It is gone now. I saw photos of ISIL blowing it up for no good reason.

I look at pictures from the old days. The eyes in sharp contrast of workers on a railroad, or the guy putting aglets on shoe laces. We think about Morse and his code and not the guy who ran hundreds of miles of gleaming copper wire but in fact, Morse would be rather fucked without that copper wire guy.

Or plankton.

Or history.

Or sewers.

Sewers are mad important.

Current Mood: angry angry
Current Music: blow a kiss, fire a gun

8 Dragons or Call a Dragon
So, here's what we've learned so far.

Sometime between now and the dawn of time Pluto was tea-bagged by God.


Current Mood: nerdy nerdy
Current Music: What's the frequency, Kenneth?

6 Dragons or Call a Dragon

Humans, eyes tearing, looking up into the night sky saw wandering stars meandering around in the darkness, and they counted them, prayed to them, reached out with their songs and dreams and satellites. Heaven, however, wasn't orderly, as neat as we would like it. If gravity and the laws Newton gave us were to be believed there was something beyond the vail, lurking in the shadow, a shy little boy tugging at our pant leg.

To see that far we needed something far more powerful than telescopes of polished glass and mirrors. Pluto was to prove it would be the rebel, the planet of its own rules.

We needed Math.

Pluto was discovered in a equation.

Something was pulling on the other planets, something with enough mass said Lowell, back in the days before an observatory was named after him. So a guy, Powell was the name sewn in his boxers, and another fellow who was called W. H. by his friends calculated when and where to look and low and behold another guy, Tombaugh if you believed the red embroidery on his lab coat, squinted through the spiffy new telescope at the new Lowell Observatory, and saw Pluto.

It wasn't Pluto until a little girl, Venitia Burney, suggested to her grandfather that it should be named after The lord of the underworld. Gramps sent a post card to the observatory and Pluto was a planet.

Now there's a problem. Pluto is a precocious planet. Pluto didn't shrink, but eggheads found lots of Pluto sized rocks, so instead of having many more planets, we downgraded Pluto to Dwarf, or as they prefer, little planet.

Ah, but tricky Pluto has tricks indeed because a dwarf planet doesn't have the mass needed to play with Neptune and Uranus, so how can such a little planet mess with such big boys?

Pluto has a girlfriend! A Charon, a moon 1/7 the size of Pluto. Their orbits locked so they face each other, they Doe se doe around the Sun, teasing their neighbors as they go.

And all this is 4.67 billion miles away. That's million with a B! The probe we sent? Flying at a brisk 30,000 miles an hour or New York to Paris in 8 minutes.

And it's still all conjecture. We won't know until the probe gets there what else Pluto has up his sleeve!

Stay tuned, Pluto might be a planet after all!

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Ill never be your beast of burden

2 Dragons or Call a Dragon
Irritated tissue. No worries. We would like you back in six months for a follow up.

Putting my, arguable, little titties in the booby smasher was, interesting. Everyone was very nice and because there was a lot of, we don't see a lot of guys here, there was a lot of, we'd like this person to sit in and observe, so I had an audience most the time. But they got it done and it wasn't a bad thing.

The sound thingy? Sonogram? She had this heated KY jelly thing with Aloe. That was kinda nice.

I saw the blobby images on the scanner and I must say I couldn't tell the difference between one blob or the other.

The bottom line is, no worries. I like that.

Current Mood: happy happy
Current Music: Try to break the chains but the chains only break me down

10 Dragons or Call a Dragon
Dear republican presidential candidate;

I am a registered republican. I vote republican about 75% of the time. It's not that you're doing a fine job 75% of the time, it's just that you're doing a slightly better job than the other guy, meaning you suck less. Don't be proud of that.

Let's get this straight. You work for me and this is what I want to see out of your job performance so pay close attention.

1. If any of your platform includes the phase; Abolish or appeal Gay Marriage, YOU WILL NOT GET MY VOTE! It is the 21 century guys, get over it. More on morals later, but what really irks me is you know this is a hollow campaign promise. You WILL be over turned by the Supreme Court. You have no right to interfere with the happiness of loving people and you BLOODY KNOW THIS! You're trying to get all cuddly with your base instead of being a leader. You should be saying to the republicans, it's okay, the gays are not going to hurt you, you can join the rest of the world in the 21st century.

2. Morals. You are NOT my spiritual leader and if you act like it you will not get my vote. If my spirit needs a leader, I'll go to my minister, priest, church lady of my choice. I hired you to fix the damned roads, plan a national energy strategy (more on this), and keep us safe. That's it. Don't remotely think that I care one whit what you think about French Ticklers and my over use of them. I don't need your approval, YOU NEED MINE! Stay out of my bed room and I'll stay out of yours.

3. Affordable Health Care. If your platform includes the phrase, Appeal, Un-fund, or another lawsuit to overrule and avoid the congressional caucus, YOU WILL NOT GET MY VOTE. People NEED health care. Here's a top tip, FIX IT! You are not allowed to uninsure one person. Streamline, efficient, effective, those are your goals. Do that. Put that on your Vote For Me cards. I will Streamline Affordable Healthcare! I will make it more efficient! I will make it more effective! That WILL get my vote.

4. Female anatomy. Nothing has changed since you were in High School. You couldn't get into it then and you should stay out of it now. This includes abortion. A conversation between a person and their health care provider is not government business. And yeah, Michelle Obama, Ahm talking to you. Stay the heck outta my fridge!

5. Power. Republicans, do not fear the wind and the sun and the tides. We know oil is a dead end. If you want to buy into the untested theory that oil is still being produced, mathematically speaking, you know that our rate of consumption will out strip any new produced oil and we will run dry in a very short period of time. I wanna see solar grids over the parking lot at the Crystal Mall. I will offer tax incentives to the Simon's owners of the Crystal Mall to get this done. We need to invest in more wind and solar so that 30% of all of our power needs are from renewable resources by 2020, and 80% by 2030. Make that happen! If you mention the word fracking and more off shore drilling, you will NOT get my vote.

6. Grid. Put the cables underground. Decentralize them.

7. High speed trains mean 350 miles per hour. Ten years ago you spent BILLIONS, that's million with a B, upgrading our trains to shorten the north east corridor trip by fifteen minutes. That's not high speed. The French are doing it, Japan is doing it. The Chinese are building it, the Peruvians are building it, why are we not? Hmmm? WHY?

Now some of you might be wondering, Dragoncaller, why not vote Democrat? As I sat in a room with 10,000 other guys, listening to our Democratic Governor, who was inspired by Rhode Island's Democratic Governor lay out his plan of taking pensions away from pensioners, and listening to him call retirees lazy, and propose a plan to make retirees work for their already earned pensions and try to out shout the quickly rising crescendo of screams from the Union bosses in the crowd as he passionately tried to defend his deplorable plan of taking earned benefits from retirees to give to drug users, I thought; no.

There's a long list of why I only vote democratic 25% of the time, nose outta my fridge, Michelle! But the number one reason is I will NOT, NOT vote for anyone, Jesus Christ included, who will blame the actions of a bad man on the actions of a good man. If a person commits a crime, it is the fault of the person who committed the crime. It is that simple. If you wanna fix that guy, so be it, but don't deflect the blame from the bad guy onto the good guy, Ahm talking to you, Joe Liberman (Who I DID vote for, twice, and only because you were running against a REAL dick head) Stop looking around for someone to blame. Here's a change of pace, blame the criminal!

Republicans! You have a chance to look to the future! The Tea Party worked in the Boston Harbor over two hundred years ago. Yeah, big fun, now it OVER! Wake up and smell the coffee! This is America and we are a nation of Coffee!

More on this subject as I get around to it.

And no, I will NOT discuss this on LJ or FB or any other media because this is not the place to have an intelligent conversation. If you want to discuss this with me, bring a bottle of 15< Scotch to the Shire and we can discuss a great length.

Thanks for listening.

Current Mood: mischievous mischievous
Current Music: You got me in chains for your love


Start with dough. I guess you could roll it out but I actually slap it and throw it into a pie. It's a talent I have.

Next, a layer of tomatoes. No sauce. This would make things too gooey. Now a dusting of salt and some oregano. Add the smoked gouda. This goes heavenly with the bacon.

Now, bacon because reasons and this adds support to the weight of the mac and cheese.


And now cold mac and cheese. Layer it on heavy because why not?


Mozzarella cheese. Don't spare any on my account. This will help keep things together and save you from a soupy mess. Stick it in the oven at 400 degrees for say, 12-15 mins, check it, and turn it and give it a few minutes more. Nice crusts!


When it comes out, it should be a little baked casserole.


And now, let it cool. Interior temp should be warm, like 120-140. Any hotter and it will all fall apart and you have to eat it with a knife and fork. That's not pizza! Nice and warm and it is finger food!



Current Mood: hungry hungry
Current Music: This woman is my destiny!

2 Dragons or Call a Dragon