Dragoncaller (dragoncaller) wrote,
Dragoncaller
dragoncaller

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Shard teaser

When it comes to word crunching, pounding the keys, I'm all for that. But crushing and sipping it all down to a little bite sized nibble, not so much.

But here it is for your perusal.

"Wiggletooth Shard started off the campaign as a lowly goblin corporal, but when his unit is decimated by the human forces, he steals a captain’s rank and musters the goblins for a desperate counterattack. As he prepares to attack an enemy he has little chance of success he discovers that his rally point is the lair of a hungry black dragon! Trapped between the two and only seconds to act, Shard demonstrates his quick thinking as he drives the dragon against the humans while leading his goblins to safety, unknowing that his rag-tag company would soon plunge straight into the heart of the war for the survival of the goblin nation!

His newly formed unit, the Black Dragon Company, is assigned a simple mission, get the goblin princess to the shore, but Shard soon realizes his innocuous assignment is far more vulpine when he discovers he is the fall guy for the goblin’s losing war. Shard has become an embarrassment to the goblin high command and they need to get rid of him. If he fails he will die at the hands of the humans. If makes it, he’ll be presented to the goblin emperor where he’ll suffer a gruesome execution for the losing war. Without a choice, Shard presses on knowing that his success or failure will mean his death.

Shard musters all his wit and courage as the humans pull out all stops to capture the goblin princess. The humans have brought back from forced retirement the manically insane General Jimenez and his knights to stop Shard. Shard realizes that all hope of the goblin nation rides on his shoulders as he discovers the elves’ new secret weapon.

Plagued by his own memories and tortured by dreams of a mysterious elf sorceress, Shard leads his goblins through battle after battle with his only allies; the incompetent Captain Momoo who lost his own company thinking it would get him laid, the brutal Sergeant Major Ribsplitter Jones who’s killed more goblin officers than the elves, the enigmatic Major Bark-Bite who seems more interested in Shard’s past than the war itself and the lusty, busty, war loving Princess Hiroki who has her own castration machine and a perchance to use it, in a crazy suicide mission across enemy territory against unwinnable odds to save his people.

Shard’s Thugs is laugh out loud funny and an action packed thrill ride from first page to last. Battle after ferocious battle and armed with a his big sword and guile, he must keep the rambunctious princess safe, outsmart the elves and humans hunting him down, and dodge the lurking shadow of a vengeful black dragon!"

So based on the above,

Poll #1676291 Would you wanna read this hilarious book?

Do you want to read the wonderful adventures of Wiggletooth Shard?

Based on the Synopsis, yeah
1(14.3%)
Based on the Synopsis, maybe
2(28.6%)
Based on the Synopsis, no
0(0.0%)
I've been waiting for Shard's for years, lemme have it!
4(57.1%)
Goblins? Yuck!
0(0.0%)
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