Dragoncaller (dragoncaller) wrote,
Dragoncaller
dragoncaller

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Attention English speaking people.

Off.

The opposite of on, is off. It is pronounced Awf. Like cough.

WTF.

Now cough would be better off spelled Coff, like coffee. And truth be told it could be spelled Cof. But that would be in conflict with Of, which is pronounced Ov. Because Off and Of don't sound anything alike.

So in Off, the second F is silent, but like the silent E changes the stress of the vowel so you would need that in off, or coff.

Coff isn't a word, however. So we could just get rid of cough which makes no sense and replace it with coff.

And no, you can't use silent E because then it would be cofe and would then rhyme with loaf...

WTF

Loaf should be lofe. I checked the dictionary and there is no lofe. Why the hell not? We could just use that and conform to some rule of order, can't we? Silent E makes a long vowel sound making the O sound like, O and not like lof which would sound like lawf like awf-ul.

but awful is like off and really should be offull but that would be too much like full of off which makes no bloody sense.

So why the hell is off, off and not awf? There is no awf in the dictionary, we could totally use that. Your basic awf/on switch. This eliminates the need for the stupid silent F, donnit?

And just what the hell is K for?

It has a hard sound and you could totally use it in Koff, or Kough. Is there a word that K rules over that can't be used by the older, wiser, C? Cithchen? Cindergarden?

But C is sometimes soft like, Cinder, which really should be sinder. This is no sinder in the dictionary, only confused cids taking grammar.

Choose! If C is always hard, then we can get rid of K and S can take over C's soft words and the problem is solved.

CH is still ch. No worries there.

except in ocher. Really? Ocher? Why not ocer with a hard c? We have silent H now?

But we don't have Ough and On switches, but we can catch a kough.

But it's an off switch.

Period.
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