May 30th, 2015


Dear, republican presidential candidate

Dear republican presidential candidate;

I am a registered republican. I vote republican about 75% of the time. It's not that you're doing a fine job 75% of the time, it's just that you're doing a slightly better job than the other guy, meaning you suck less. Don't be proud of that.

Let's get this straight. You work for me and this is what I want to see out of your job performance so pay close attention.

1. If any of your platform includes the phase; Abolish or appeal Gay Marriage, YOU WILL NOT GET MY VOTE! It is the 21 century guys, get over it. More on morals later, but what really irks me is you know this is a hollow campaign promise. You WILL be over turned by the Supreme Court. You have no right to interfere with the happiness of loving people and you BLOODY KNOW THIS! You're trying to get all cuddly with your base instead of being a leader. You should be saying to the republicans, it's okay, the gays are not going to hurt you, you can join the rest of the world in the 21st century.

2. Morals. You are NOT my spiritual leader and if you act like it you will not get my vote. If my spirit needs a leader, I'll go to my minister, priest, church lady of my choice. I hired you to fix the damned roads, plan a national energy strategy (more on this), and keep us safe. That's it. Don't remotely think that I care one whit what you think about French Ticklers and my over use of them. I don't need your approval, YOU NEED MINE! Stay out of my bed room and I'll stay out of yours.

3. Affordable Health Care. If your platform includes the phrase, Appeal, Un-fund, or another lawsuit to overrule and avoid the congressional caucus, YOU WILL NOT GET MY VOTE. People NEED health care. Here's a top tip, FIX IT! You are not allowed to uninsure one person. Streamline, efficient, effective, those are your goals. Do that. Put that on your Vote For Me cards. I will Streamline Affordable Healthcare! I will make it more efficient! I will make it more effective! That WILL get my vote.

4. Female anatomy. Nothing has changed since you were in High School. You couldn't get into it then and you should stay out of it now. This includes abortion. A conversation between a person and their health care provider is not government business. And yeah, Michelle Obama, Ahm talking to you. Stay the heck outta my fridge!

5. Power. Republicans, do not fear the wind and the sun and the tides. We know oil is a dead end. If you want to buy into the untested theory that oil is still being produced, mathematically speaking, you know that our rate of consumption will out strip any new produced oil and we will run dry in a very short period of time. I wanna see solar grids over the parking lot at the Crystal Mall. I will offer tax incentives to the Simon's owners of the Crystal Mall to get this done. We need to invest in more wind and solar so that 30% of all of our power needs are from renewable resources by 2020, and 80% by 2030. Make that happen! If you mention the word fracking and more off shore drilling, you will NOT get my vote.

6. Grid. Put the cables underground. Decentralize them.

7. High speed trains mean 350 miles per hour. Ten years ago you spent BILLIONS, that's million with a B, upgrading our trains to shorten the north east corridor trip by fifteen minutes. That's not high speed. The French are doing it, Japan is doing it. The Chinese are building it, the Peruvians are building it, why are we not? Hmmm? WHY?

Now some of you might be wondering, Dragoncaller, why not vote Democrat? As I sat in a room with 10,000 other guys, listening to our Democratic Governor, who was inspired by Rhode Island's Democratic Governor lay out his plan of taking pensions away from pensioners, and listening to him call retirees lazy, and propose a plan to make retirees work for their already earned pensions and try to out shout the quickly rising crescendo of screams from the Union bosses in the crowd as he passionately tried to defend his deplorable plan of taking earned benefits from retirees to give to drug users, I thought; no.

There's a long list of why I only vote democratic 25% of the time, nose outta my fridge, Michelle! But the number one reason is I will NOT, NOT vote for anyone, Jesus Christ included, who will blame the actions of a bad man on the actions of a good man. If a person commits a crime, it is the fault of the person who committed the crime. It is that simple. If you wanna fix that guy, so be it, but don't deflect the blame from the bad guy onto the good guy, Ahm talking to you, Joe Liberman (Who I DID vote for, twice, and only because you were running against a REAL dick head) Stop looking around for someone to blame. Here's a change of pace, blame the criminal!

Republicans! You have a chance to look to the future! The Tea Party worked in the Boston Harbor over two hundred years ago. Yeah, big fun, now it OVER! Wake up and smell the coffee! This is America and we are a nation of Coffee!

More on this subject as I get around to it.

And no, I will NOT discuss this on LJ or FB or any other media because this is not the place to have an intelligent conversation. If you want to discuss this with me, bring a bottle of 15< Scotch to the Shire and we can discuss a great length.

Thanks for listening.
  • Current Music
    You got me in chains for your love

Manogram, the results!

Irritated tissue. No worries. We would like you back in six months for a follow up.

Putting my, arguable, little titties in the booby smasher was, interesting. Everyone was very nice and because there was a lot of, we don't see a lot of guys here, there was a lot of, we'd like this person to sit in and observe, so I had an audience most the time. But they got it done and it wasn't a bad thing.

The sound thingy? Sonogram? She had this heated KY jelly thing with Aloe. That was kinda nice.

I saw the blobby images on the scanner and I must say I couldn't tell the difference between one blob or the other.

The bottom line is, no worries. I like that.
  • Current Music
    Try to break the chains but the chains only break me down