Dragoncaller (dragoncaller) wrote,

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Diet soda makes you fat!

What is truth? What are facts? Can such things truly exist?

We perceive waves of energy, sheets of particles, bits of space dust that make atoms look like mountains. The toughest wall of cement is only a collection of atoms, tightly packed and squirming around.


The wall is made of molecules, the molecules made from atoms, atoms made from protons and swisstrons and those made of neutrinos, bambinos and barberinos and those are made of stuff so small we can only throw up our hands and say, if a thousand angels can dance on the head of a pin, this stuff must be an angels left nut.

A boy angel that is.

So then how big is an angel sperm?

Can we ever have a cube that is one inch by one inch by one inch? No. The damned thing is made out of squirming angel balls and that can never be a true exact science.

So that brings us to the unshakable, undeniable, unquestionable fact that Diet Soda, the Less than One Calorie kind, will, will as in it's going to happen, as in a sure thing, as sure as angel jizz on another angel's cheek, will make you fat.

Es Verdad!

I saw it on T.V.!

This show, on ABC, a major network, called Health Beat, had this doctor interviewing another doctor. The first doctor is a medical doctor, the other a nutritionist.

The first doctor goes, "You're saying diet soda makes you fat?"
The second doctor responds, "Yes."

She then explains that studies show that 56% of people who drink diet soda are overweight. The first doctor seems surprised at this notion, so he asks why. The second doctor responds, we think, we must mean the collective of smart people, think that it might be because the sweetness of diet soda causes a craving for sweet things, so the drinker then hunts down something caloric, or maybe, or meaning maybe not, people who drink diet soda think that they can now have something bad because they did good drinking the diet soda.

The first doctor, running the show, instead of responding with "Uh huh, uh huh, yeah, you are the weakest link, good bye" and pushes a button which drops the second doctor, her face filling with surprise and fear, into a hidden trap door in the floor and into a pit filled with flaming, serrated, jelly fish poison tipped spikes, nods his head going, "Wow! Who knew?"

This is what we are passing off as science!

How about this for a theory? %56 of people who drink diet soda are trying to loose weight! How about that for a study? This so called expert, plucks out a random study and shakes it in our faces like a Mayan fertility doll and without doing any research, draws a conclusion that is about as logical as wining the baseball world series increases pig births.

That's a true correlation by the way. Any baseball team who wins the world series their state will get an increased rate of pig births.

Also, power failures will make you pregnant. That's true too. If you don't want children, get a back up generator.

How can we fight this kind of angel spooge?

Same as any spooge.

It's an acquired taste.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.