Dragoncaller (dragoncaller) wrote,

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Why we're all doomed.

I've been floating around in LJ limbo for the last few months. I've been cast adrift in the vastness of the interweb, seeking propose and meaning.

I've figured it out.

I'm going to dedicate this journal to explaining exactly why we as a civilization are screwed and there is no hope.

If you're currently on anti-depression medication, you may want to look away.

I know many of you have been looking forward to December 21st, 2012 but truth be told and the rate we're going, Ah don't think we'll make it as a collective planet to that day.

So, what's our planet busting terror? Our sayonara, Universe? Is it a giant meteor or asteroid? A huge flood? Global warming? Senator Chris Dodd?

While all those things are dangerous and should be taken seriously, they are cupcakes to the magnificent terror that I have.

It is...
This box.
Seriously. This box. Don't let it's innocuous exterior fool you. It's certain death alright. And I don't mean the game either. I'm talking the box will kill us all as surely as a tumor in Ted Kennedy's brain.

Let me explain.

Our friends bought us a great present. We love the present and would like more of them. It's something that will allow us to play our favorite on-line computer game. We are happy.

Now, when you open the box, there is this.

Wha? It's empty? No, look closer.

There is a card in there. See?

A little plastic card.

On the back is a code that you type into the computer and allows you to play the game.

You scratch off the thing in the back and it reveals the code. You type the code in and the game begins.

That's it. This big box for this little card made of plastic with a secret code on it.

Get it? We're wasting the materials and resources to produce a box that could hold 624 cards just for one card. Not to mention the chemicals to refine the plastic in the card and the chemicals to make the shiny, colorful cardboard outer skin. Oh, yeah, and the card itself has a half life of just shy of 1,000,000 years! It's a card with a number on it. In a million years it's not going to work! I've already used the code. It's over Pfft! Spent it's load. And forget recycling the shiny cardboard box. The chemicals to make it shiny also make it impossible to recycle or natural break down in a land fill. It will be burned to create electricity and green house gasses. (I actually asked a transfer station engineer about that. It's true!)

It's just garbage now.

Also the gas to ship millions of the near empty boxes all over the country.

Not to mention the possible medical costs that I take infer if I get a paper cut or something.

I'm sure all the rocket surgeons of the planet can figure out a way for my friends to give me a nice present that I can sit under my artificial Christmas tree and un-wrap using our reusable unbleached hand woven muslin wrapping cloth, without slaughtering all the trees in the North West to do it.

S'all I'm asking. To play the game. Zat so hard?
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