Hello, this is Scott Free Bail Bonds.
Yeah, I need to get bailed out.
Okay, where are you?
Oh, turning your self in on a warrant?
A what? I just need to bail out my basement.
We've been rather cocky in the 10 years we've lived here that our basement has been bone dry. Well, not so much now. 4 inches. We bailed it down to 2 inches and that'll keep it safely below the furnace. Once it's dry it should be too much worry, but I will get a pallet to keep the canvas tent off the floor. Ugh!
Now on to other matters. Some of you are concerned about a missing girl named Penny, or that John Hopkins school says that sugar causes cancer, or that if I flash my headlights at an approaching car and street gang will follow me home and kill me. I appreciate your concern. And I'm sure it is important to eat fruit on an empty stomach, or to call *31780 instead of 911 for an emergency, or to lock up my computer key board to keep my cat from peeing on it.
And I appreciate that you are so concerned for me that you have to forward an email that warns me of congress' new law that will tax my guns, or an e-mail virus that will destroy my computer unless I delete a file in my registry with a teddy bear icon, or how proud you are of an 8 year old girl who thwarted two rapists with a shotgun blast to their heads.
All I ask is before you forward that dog ear, e-mail addy riddled bit of electronic fear, paranoia and what have you, that you check it against Snopes. It'll save me the trouble of doing it.
And if there is a prayer, or cute kittens, or any e-mail that begs not to be deleted and forwarded, please delete it first, then forward it.
I would rather hear about your driving to the store for some fresh yams than how much Jesus loves me. Jesus shows he loves me by letting me read what's going on in your life, and that the yams are fresh and tasty.