Yes, I am obese, thank you Nintendo WII for reminding me, but the fault does not lie with the King, Ronald, Jack, Roy and all the others.
That being said, here's my rant.
I'm on the Highway. It's been a long four days driving all over Maryland for my Uncle Ralph's memorial with many hours of little sleep. I'm on the home stretch, back in Connecticut and I need food and fuel and caffeine.
So I hit the rest stop and I look up at the splayed menu for something small. I see the TRIPLE STACK Wopper, the most absurd thing in existence right next to the Double Stack Wopper with Bacon for that Hyper death feel.
All the way at the end, is this choice.
That's it. A little old hamburger.
Small fries, small diet coke and a hamburger. The prices are conveniently blocked by a post, but surely that's got to be part of the dollar menu.
As she rings it up, I stare with shock at the price. "Excuse me," I ask, "But does a hamburger, small soda and small fries cost three times more than the Triple Stack Wopper, Big Fries and Big Soda?
And she turns and points to the board. "That's the value combo. Would you like that?"
"No, but don't you think it's odd that one third the food cost three times as much?"
And she turns and looks at the big board as if for the first time. "Huh?" She places her hand on her hip as she thinks. "That's messed up!"
I also get a chocolate shake. It's a rare treat.
So I grab some straws and get back into the car. While the attendant gasses up the car, I wolf the burger in three bites and sink the straw into the shake.
Then I watch the shake sink below the horizon of the shake.
It is the evil, laughing curse of take out everywhere.
Short Straws! The bastards!
So I search around for that in my shake, thanking God that I did wash my hands in the restroom, and slowly slough it out.
I think it will be quite some time before I go back to Burger King, home of the strangely priced food and short straws.
But price wise, it encourages you to eat big wads of cholesterol death. To shave off a few calories, costs money.
Why is that?