Dragoncaller (dragoncaller) wrote,

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Hey, can you spare some change?

Yesterday we voted. Here in North Stonington we have voted the same way for the longest time. Back before we were a Penal Colony, before South Stonington sank into the sea, before we were part of New England, before we had been conquered by Alexander the Great, we in North Stonington have voted with rocks.

I imagine in the early days they weren't so fancy smancy as they are now, polished and smooth with vibrant colors, but it is still the same system. There is a chart and a color for every party. Red Republican, Blue Democrat, Green Libertarian, Brown Green, Pink Right to Life and white labor. There is an unpolished black rock where you can scrawl the initials for a write in candidate, or the whole last name if you can fit it. If you write Scooby Doo on that rock and put it in the hole, a Mystery Elder will come into the booth with you and slap you upside the head. This happens at least twice a year.

This year, and I'm not making this up, there was a purple rock for the Connecticut for Leiberman party.

The system is brilliant as there has never been a question of ballot stuffing or voting irregularities, and you can't simply run out of ballots like they did in Bridgeport. Once you drop your rock through the slot and it's counted, the Mystery Elder on the other side pulls a switch, or a lever, or a rope, I'm not sure how it works, I've never seen the inside mechanics of a voting booth but I do know there are a couple Mystery Elders in there working it, and the rocks roll back in place for the next guy.

It's environmentally friendly. It can't crash, unless you drop a rock. But that's resolved by picking it back up. Really it's the best system ever.

Voting does give us the chance to tour the part of town that we usually don't go and I thought you would enjoy a treat of the inner workings of the beautiful and historic Town of North Stonington.

This is the Original Town Hall. When we were upgraded from Penal Colony to Town, they built the town hall. Now, I kid you not, when the built the new town hall, they named it, The Old Town Hall. Seriously! Look at the photo!

The new town hall, where we vote, is a cave about fifty yards behind the Old Town Hall. You draw permits at the Old Town Hall and you vote and the new Town Hall which is named, and I kid you not, The New Town Hall.

This red building is our down town district. It actually is a little longer than it is depicted in the photo. It has a bunch of stores and a Pepsi Machine. A Pepsi Machine, although not the original one, has been standing in front of the hardware store since 1937.

You'll also notice that the bridge is out. Something that North Stonington didn't mention to anyone and you could see as people were driving up to the polls and coming to the missing bridge and circling around again that it was rather frustrating.

Across the street from the main drag is the Grist mill for milling Grist. Sales are not booming as demand for Grist has cooled somewhat over the centuries.

And our clock! It had been commissioned by Alexander the Great when he rolled through during his North American conquest, but it was not erected for nearly fifteen hundred years as clocks had not been invented yet. But that Alex was really a visionary.

Here we see some of the original roman aqueduct work.

And that's it! Our whole town as told by me standing in one spot and turning around.

Don't believe me? We're open for business, come see for yourself!

*Edit* While checking for historical accuracy, Kagetsunami discovered some typo's. Those have been fixed. No anomalies of history were found.
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