Dragoncaller (dragoncaller) wrote,

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Scotty might be fake

I have the ever growing belief that more and more items and services that we, the consumer, use are designed and engineered by people who have never met another human being before. Raised in a Skinner box, the baby engineer received the latest on-line data and algorhythmns about human beings, computer rendered wirework images, and anatomically correct (based on 1959 Insurance Company Data) dolls to play with.

The baby was spared the hardship of learning the crossdressing wolf (assuming it was male) devoured little Red Riding Hood, and the vengeful bears, sick of porridge, dined on Goldilocks, instead learned that asserting pack leadership Red Riding made friends with the wolf, and with simple explanation and offer of compensation, Goldilocks avoided her turn on the menu.

The baby supped on mother's pasteurized milk and received hugs in the form of electronic greeting cards and despite the baby's best to cram a Triangle block into a Square hole, still received a 'Good Job!' animated gif on its terminal.

The engineer grew up and the Skinner Box is now 900 square feet which is the new rage called, Tiny Houses. Groceries are delivered to the door. Visions of the real world are piped in by reality t.v.. And sex is provided by a series of self created pictures of genitals sent back and forth to another engineer who's profile identifies them of being from the desired gender.

My beginning proof of this idea is this:

This is the Eat'n tool. It is a spoon, fork, bottle opener, wrench and flat head screw driver. You discover very quickly the spoon is as useless as the fork, the bottle opener breaks of the top of the bottle leaving you with jagged glass to drink from, the wrench concept fails and the flat head screw driver is only useful for flat head screws which as all you out doors men know happens all the time in the woods.

Most of all the thing is physically painful to use. You will hurt yourself trying to use it. Yet there are 21 variations of this same, useless thing. Go to Amazon. You'll see it!

Next up it this:

It is a hair clip with a screwdriver, wrench, scale and SAW. As in, saw. The screwdriver is only good for tightening the screws on your glasses, the wrench is only good for nothing, the scale isn't to scale with anything and curved so you can't use it to get your bearing on a 2-D map and the saw, well, the saw will, no exaggeration, cut all your hair off while you wear the thing.

Walk around with this thing for 30 minutes and you'll have a Monk's Tonsure and horrific bleeding scars.

Also available on Amazon.

But it isn't limited to to crappy products.

This is from Ted's Talk. The premise is gamers are used to solving problems and therefore can be tasked with (dramatic pause) SAVING THE WORLD FER REELS! The audience, a bunch of scientists, are LAUGHING at her and she almost pleads to make her case. She has a PHD for this idea as her thesis, but as she goes on she refers to her thesis and her study. Not once does she talk about her gamer friends, or hosting a study to watch gamers. Everything she did is based on lab study. Listen to her. For ten years of programing computer games, she never once mentions playing a game or playing with others. After watching her for 5 minutes, I realized to my horror my theory was TRUE! She has never interacted with another human being, or trolled by a 15-55 year old gamer.


It goes on and on and she isn't the only one. Insipid projects and ideas that 10 years from now we'll say, remember when that was all the rage?

Like putting yer thoughts on an on-line journal.

I leave you with this: A massive collection demonstrating there is no one at the helm.

The Worst Things for Sale
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