Dragoncaller (dragoncaller) wrote,

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The day is dead, long live the day!

I got up with the great intention of doing many great things. First, I selected my electric carrier. This is a legal scam in the State of Connecticut where you have to go to a website and choose an electric service or be charged an even more outlandish rate for electricity. You have to do this every four months. God forbid you forget or you're not internet savvy. Seriously it is designed to rip you the frell off.

This takes about forty five minutes, assuming you have all the stuff you need, as you read through all the different offers. One said, for this deal you have to have a telephone appointment about solar panels. Um, yeah. That doesn't sound like a total scam at all.

Anyway, pumped from this success, I went to work on a new Shard's Thugs booklet.

Yeah, that only hurt a whole bunch.

Yesterday I was feeling a little technologically neanderthal as I went shopping for that video camera. I used to be a nerd god! Computers were my playthings!

Now I stare at them in wonder like a bunch of chimps looking up at the monolith.

Did you know there is a thing where you take a picture of your penis and send it to some random person. Yeah! A real thing called, take a picture of your penis and send it to some random person. Who would do such a thing? And yet, it is a thing.

Well, today I wanted to make a booklet of the first chapter of Shard's Thugs.
Shards Thugs.jpg

Should be easy, right?

We'll a couple months ago I brought it to Staples for convenience sake and it took them three hours and they failed. So I tried it and 4 hours later failed. So I gave up. I then bopped about on-line and found a program and went on and on about how good it was at making pamphlets. Intuitively! Intuitive intuitivation.

16 American dollars later and it was mine!

People should stop using the word, intuitive. It does not mean what they think.

4 hours of that and I wrote a strongly worded e-mail to the developers calling into question their life choices to be something other than a ditch digger. IT was a HORRIBLE program. Actually, it would have to improve significantly to be horrible.

I wasn't ready to give up.

I went back to Word. An unfathomable program at best, but I harped at it, thinking I was going to build it all by scratch.

And I was backed by the greatest library since Alexandria. The INTERNET. That's this thing made by Al Gore where everyone's useless opinion is as important and everybody else's.


Can't be done.


It is 17 years into the new century and I can't do this using the most advanced tools known to man.


And started randomly mashing buttons, like early man fondling the Monolith.

and BANG! It worked.

I poop you not.

Then I had to spend and hour to recreate my discovery because I had no idea how it happened.

But I have my booklet and I'll see you all at Birka because I will have my, see invisible glasses on.

On an important side note, I needed a graphic for the apes, so I downloaded it from You tube, cut it down from 12 minutes of 30 seconds, posted that, wrote the HTML code by hand and put it on LJ. I am a NERD GOD!
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